- You have little or no fun together, few friendly and meaningful talks.
- Your relationship lacks affectionate dealings.
- You ignore or avoid problems (or each other).
- One or both of you acts selfishly.
- You have repetitive, seemingly irresolvable arguments.
- You have a general breakdown in communications.
- Your communication is marked by criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, etc.
- One or both of you experience emotional problems.
- There is inappropriate behavior with members of opposite sex.
- Either of you uses physical confrontation.
One should not be alarmed by detecting some of the signs listed above. However, it is important to notice and acknowledge these problems, and to take suitable action before they become serious. Preferably talk with your partner about these challenges and if necessary, seek help from others.
- Your partner has a history of abuse.
- You tend to give more than you receive in the relationship; you perceive that your relationship is not reciprocal.
- You think your partner has much potential, but it just never seems to manifest, even after much time spent together.
- You fear “being yourself” in the association of your partner.
- People you love and trust advise you that your partner is not acting in your best interest.
- Your partner consistently tells lies and is generally devious.
- Your partner doesn’t take responsibility and often blames.
- You relinquish more and more of the social or spiritual standards to keep the peace in your relationship.
- Your partner often ridicules your opinions or ideas, calls you names, or embarrasses you in public.
- You are regularly subjected to unwarranted jealousy and controlling behavior.
- Your partner makes excuses for his or her neglectful or hurting actions. There is inconsistency between words (e.g. promises) and conduct.
- You are subjected to physical, emotional or verbal violence.
You deserve kindness, respect and compassion. If you observe any to the above symptoms in a prospective partner, let them understand in no uncertain terms that you will not continue the relationship unless they make a sustained transformation of character.
The following link may be useful in recognizing abuse and getting help.
Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse. Advice from Krishna Prana, Katelin Knapp MA Counselling Psychology.