In our society, where divorce is a scary and pernicious reality for far too many couples, one of the wisest and most practical things a couple can do is to get premarital education. Think about it, so much money is spent on weddings these days. For a one day ceremony, couples spend thousands of dollars. The average cost of an American wedding was $35,329 in 2016, according to the most recent figures from the Knot (a wedding planning website). And yet for the marriage itself, generally little attention is given to preparation for a life-long marriage, into what it takes to have an enduring, successful marriage. In light of this, we have identified five reasons why a person should get premarital education:
- As an intelligent, thoughtful person, you want to prepare as much as you can to have a healthy marriage. You want to fine-tune your communication and conflict resolution skills; you want to be conscious of financial status and expectations and you want to identify similar goals and views (e.g. how many children, how will you discipline the children etc.). You want to have a better comprehension of what a spiritually conscious marriage consists of. Discussion of a variety of relationship topics during premarital education sessions will likely help you have a greater appreciation for the needs and expectations of a healthy relationship.
- You want to find out if he or she is the “one” for you. Choosing the right mate is likely the second most important prerequisite for having a fulfilling and healthy union. (The first prerequisite is your own readiness or preparation: Be the kind of person that you want to attract). In order to find out if you are compatible or equally yoked or have a good chance of endurance in a healthy relationship, it is wise to seek help to explore questions such as:
- What it my understanding of marriage?
- What are the roles of husband and wife?
- Will baggage from our past or previous relationships cause too much trouble?
- Am I marriage material?
- Will our in-laws be a problem? Will our in-laws support or disempower our relationship?
- What are some red flags that we should be aware of? For example, fear of commitment or too much contact with the opposite sex or verbal, physical or emotional abuse.
- To have a clear understanding of what a healthy marriage is. To be able to identify the characteristics of healthy relationships and to PRACTICE these characteristics prior to the marriage.
- Premarital education is proactive and preventative. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” It is so, so, so, so much better to have a strong, conscious, healthy relationship than to try to fix one that is unhealthy.
- By getting premarital education from qualified, caring professionals and by working on yourself ahead of marriage, you prepare your life and your marriage as a sweet and conscious offering to the Supreme Lord Krsna.
